I will never forget the first time I met my extended family. I was very nervous because I did not know what their reaction would be about me.

They were waiting for me with a very delicious meal. My brothers and sister law who live in different cities were there to meet me. That gesture was very important to me because they made me feel that I was important to them. I spoke very little and felt that everyone was watching me. They all seemed to take turns asking me different kinds of questions.

After a few hours I was more comfortable and more relaxed. They made me felt part of them.

 I can say that my husband’s family became my family since the first day. I won a father, a mother and two brothers, and one sister. Our relationship is very good, I am thankful for that.

I have always known that we have differences, but I have learned to love them with their differences. as we read in the article, “Creating Healthy Ties with In-Laws and Extended Families”.  “Marrying into a family that is different from yours or has different values ​​can be a challenge. Demonstrating humor, exercising patience, overlooking small irritations, and looking for the positive can help in dealing with differences. “

Building a close relationship with my in-laws is important to me because it maintains an atmosphere of peace and love in my family. Therefore, it makes my husband and my children happy. This also allows my marriage to be stronger and makes our time with my extended family more pleasant and allows a great communication between my children and them. A strong family unit helps my children know and love their aunts and uncles, and all their cousins, and above all, love and respect their grandparents. Also, receiving the love of their grandparents and uncles help my children to know the importance of the family, and they may feel additional security, or maybe feel more confident talking about things that they may not talk to us as a parent.

I love my extended family and I am grateful for them and their love for me and my family. I’m so glad to have them in my life.

One of the things I would like to highlight from this week’s study is when it refers to men and women being equal. This is one of the things that I like most about belonging to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that although each of us has different responsibilities, one is not more important than the other, nor does one have more power than the other. Each one has its own value.

We are taught that in marriage we do not have to look for who has more power, but to live in a way where power is not important in our life or in our marriage.

In the article “Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families “highlighted an interview that President Hinckley gave to a church magazine, I loved the response of President Hinckley when asked “President, you have said: “Some husbands regard it as their prerogative to compel their wives to fit their standards of what they think to be the ideal. It never works.” How have you avoided doing this with Sister Hinckley?”  He answered “I’ve tried to recognize my wife’s individuality, her personality, her desires, her background, her ambitions. Let her fly. Yes, let her fly! Let her develop her own talents. Let her do things her way. Get out of her way, and marvel at what she does…If there is anything that concerns me, it is that some men try to run their wife’s life and tell her everything she ought to do. It will not work. There will not be happiness in the lives of the children nor of the parents where the man tries to run everything and control his wife. They are partners. They are companions in this great venture that we call marriage and family life” (Marjorie Pay and Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, October 2003, pp. 22, 27).

While I was reading, I thought that one of the things I love most about my husband is that he allows me to be myself, without trying to change me to the way he wants me to be. I have to admit that at the beginning of my marriage there were things that I wanted to change from my husband, however I learned over time that those things are what make him different from others, and those things help me to love him as he is.

References: Miller, R. B. (2008). Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families. Brigham Young University. 

I was thinking about a conversation my husband and I had when we were engaged. I was a little bit affected by my previous marriage and I did not trust anyone. I must admit that it was not easy to get to trust my husband because even though it had been several years of my divorce, I still had a trauma with infidelity.

I had to clarify to him that I did not forgive an infidelity, and we talked about a plan to avoid infidelity at all costs and to be honest with one another if felt attracted to someone else.

He told me that infidelities do not happen so easily, but that you must feed it with actions. For me it was something new because I had always thought that it could be happen in any second. However, I understood that he was right.  to be unfaithful you must have a “special” relationship with the other person. That it can begin with a simple friendship as it was the case of the history that we read of Jane and Aaron, where she saw that Friendship as inoffensive, nevertheless she was ending her own marriage little by little.

Some of the goals my husband and I made before getting married were

• Do not go out with anyone of the opposite sex without the other being present.
• Spend as much time as we can together.
• Be honest with one another.
• Avoid routine.
• Not have secret password.

Some precautions that I take to safeguard my marriage from infidelity is to avoid being alone with someone of the opposite sex, when I join with friends, I make sure my husband is present. Also, when I talk to my friends by phone or social media, I try to do it in the presence of my husband.

Another thing we can do is avoid using the phone behind our partner. We see many cases today where couples hide their phone so that their partners do not know of their conversations with someone else, however that leads to distrust and the couple’s relationship to weaken.

President Ezra Taft Benson said “Honorable marriage is more important than wealth, position, and status. As husband and wife, you can achieve your life’s goals together. As you sacrifice for each other and your children, the Lord will bless you, and your commitment to the Lord and your service in His kingdom will be enhanced.”

 Remember that our partner must be our friend, confidant, and our priority in life, will help strengthen our marriage.

If I had to give some advice to a friend who is going through marriage difficulties, I would recommend reading “Drawing Heaven into Marriage” by Goddard. because it has helped me improve many things in my own life and I know that reading this book and putting into practice the principles that are taught, can change ways of thinking and acting of any person. One of President Ezra Taft Benson’s quotes are mentioned in the book is when he said ” “When we put God first, all other things fall into their place or drop out of our life. Our love for the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interest we pursue, and the order of our priorities. We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives” pg57.

Having God first is the main message of this book, because without God it would be very difficult to apply in our marriage the principles that we learned. As, sacrifice, faith, humility, consecration, charity, fidelity, etc. One of the important things that I learned from this book is that I always must remember the covenants I have made with my husband, and not let myself be control by pride. “Pride is without that can be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves “pg 76.  This is one of the phrases that will always be in my mind to overcome any inconvenience I may have in my marriage.

Also I cannot help but highlight the good teachings I got in “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by Gottman; puts in practice activities that we are advised in this book helped me to see even more the qualities that my husband has and also to see the potential that I have to make things work better in my marriage. One of the activities that I enjoyed doing the most was nurture, fondness and admiration. I was able to appreciate all the things my husband does for me and my family, although it was not something new for me, nevertheless I could see them more clearly. I think the central message of this book is that we apply good principles in our marriage to avoid unnecessary divorce at all costs.

“Some recent studies show that people who are taught to forgive become “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed,” which leads to greater physical well-being. Another of these studies concludes “that forgiveness … is a liberating gift [that] people can give to themselves.” (Elder James E Faust)

We know that all marriages go through difficult times at some point in our lives, however problems can become perpetual when we do not apply forgiveness in our relationship. When I talk about forgiveness in our relationship, I mean that there are conflicts that can be solved in such an easy way if we forgive, but if we prefer not to forgive, then the problems get bigger and bigger. If we forgive our spouse, we show that we are humble enough to fix any misunderstanding in our marriage.

For me it has not always been easy to forgive and one of the barriers I have found in my path is anger. I love when Elder Lynn G. Robbins said “Understanding the connection between agency and anger is the first step in eliminating it from our lives. We can choose not to become angry.”  I like this quote because it makes me think about the hard times, I’ve gone through letting myself be controlled by anger, even knowing that I was the only one responsible for my actions. This did not allow me to consecrate myself to my marriage and it prevents me from forgiving others easily.

 As Goddard said: “consecration in marriage is not just about receiving our entrance card to the Celestial Kingdom. It’s also about becoming qualified for the life. We will presumably be living here. This requires a transformation of character. ” character transformation means to me taking care of our companion, love, respect, and forgive him or her.

In my 11 years of marriage I can say that doing these things has not been easy, however I can say that it’s been worth it. I started by not criticizing my husband and not highlighting his weaknesses. I thought that if I relieved with my friends about my husband, I would feel better, however I learned that what I was doing was getting away from my husband little by little.

I like to highlight his virtues and thank him for what he does for me and my family. This has given me better results and has united us more as friends and as a couple.

I conclude with my testimony that forgiving others has changed my life and the most benefited has been myself.

“Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance.” (Ezra Taft Benson)

This quote from President Benson left me thinking about the many times I have committed this sin of “pride” maybe unconsciously, perhaps knowing that I have been proud.

Not only in my daily life, but also in my marriage. I was thinking about how many times I have been angry with my husband for some nonsense reason and out of pride I did not want to fix things at that moment, but I would wait until I got the appropriate time according to me. I also could apply President Benson’s quote to my life when he says. “Pride is without that can be seen in others but it is rarely admitted in ourselves.” Because I have come to think that the proud one is not me, but the other person, just thinking about it makes me a prideful person.” I have always avoided being pride, however, by studying this week’s class, especially President Benson’s talk, alerted me to be more careful in my actions and thoughts about pride. Other quotes from president Benson that I would like to highlight is when he says “The proud depend on the world to tell them if they have value or not. Their self-esteem is determined by where they are judged to be on the ladders of worldly success. They feel worthwhile as individuals if the numbers beneath them in achievement, talent, beauty, or intellect are large enough. Pride is ugly.” It says, “If you succeed, I am a failure.”

If we love God, do His will, and fear His judgment more than men’s, we will have self-esteem.”

Because we constantly see how our natural man seeks to please our own ego, thinking about what others will say or think about me.

We often see that pride manifests itself constantly in marriage. One of the most common things we see in marriages around the world is everyone thinks about their own well-being and not about well-being as a couple. When we are humble, we think first of how I can make my spouse happy, and not, how my spouse can make me happy. I believe that if we put this into practice, we can leave the pride aside and be happy in our marriage and live according to what our Heavenly Father expects from us.

“Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” (D&C 64:33)

As I read this scripture, all the little things we can do for our spouse come to my mind so the relationship will be better every day. We do not have to do extraordinary things for the other to express how much we care and how much we love then. Things like sending a text saying, “I love you” or “I miss you”; preparing a meal that your spouse likes, or kiss her hand while driving the car, tell her how beautiful she is, just because. These are the things that I receive from my husband that are not extraordinary at all and that make me the happiest woman in the world at that moment. Making our spouse feel special will undoubtedly help strengthen our relationship.

One of the things that has helped our marriage the most is that both of us have the gospel in our lives. Having faith in Christ has been our support to move forward with our family and our marriage. We have tried to do what President Ezra Taft Benson advice ” Put God first ” in our marriage. Not everything is beautiful and not every day I feel like the happiest woman in the world, however our faith in Jesus Christ is what has helped us to overcome the challenges and trials we receive.

It is not always easy to apply that trust in Jesus Christ when trials are difficult, but when both people want to save the marriage, and both work together to make changes in improving the relationship, I believe that there will never be a very difficult challenge to overcome. Unless it is a relationship where there is physical or emotional abuse, or infidelity. If that is not the case, then I personally believe that other things are easier to fix. sometimes we see the big problems within marriage, but if we try to work on it, over time those problems become very small, to the extent that they do not affect our marriage.

I like to think about the covenant I have made with my husband and the goal of living eternally with him and my family to be able to overcome the difficulties we constantly find in our path. This also helps me stay emotionally connected with him.

I love reading about nurture fondness and admiration, while I read it came to my mind that many marriages are deteriorating because they fall into the daily routine. The problems and the daily thing lead to the relations get cooled little by little. If each couple made a goal of learning to nurture fondness and admiration for their partner, things would be easier and more bearable. Personally, this has helped a lot in my marriage relationship. When my husband and I were married 11 years ago, we were both very quiet and very reserved, however one of our goals was to build trust as a couple, that helped us talk more about our daily issues and help us get to know each other better. Before getting married we only dated for 6 months, and it was not enough time to know everything about each other. He was not very expressive, and I was very afraid of expressing my feelings with fear of being hurt. However, his details and love made me open little by little until I showed him all my love for him. They were not big details, details like sending a text and telling him something that I liked about him, or leaving a note letting him know how grateful I was to have him in my life. Those small things helped him to be more expressive and more detailed with me. By showing our love and admiration it is easier for us to ask for forgiveness and recognize when we do something wrong. It is easier to hug and say sorry. It is easier to make sacrifices for the other and stop thinking about yourself. I like when President Eyring says “The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love. The ideal God holds for us is to form families in the way most likely to lead to happiness and away from sorrow. A man and a woman are to make sacred covenants that they will put the welfare and happiness of the other at the center of their lives.”  What better way to achieve this than by nourishing our fondness and admiration for the person that we love!

How beautiful it would be if we could all attain an eternal marriage; however, Satan is working hard to attack marriage as our leaders say, he knows that destroying marriage he also destroys our eternal goal of returning to our Heavenly Father. It is our duty to teach our children the importance of eternal marriage, being an example for them, so they can differentiate between a marriage by “contract” of a marriage by “covenant” if our children learn from an early age the importance and the sacredness of the marriage, it will be easier for them to have a stable, and eternal family. They will have better opportunities to make better choices when getting married. When they get married, they will be prepared to bear all the trials that may arise in marriage.

We know there are no perfect marriages, however with the hard work of both we can have a happy marriage.

President Russell M Nelson said “Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in a marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concerted effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed if each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness.”

Sadly, many people have an erroneous concept of marriage, forgetting the true meaning. We see how couples deceive their spouses so easily, and this is seen as normal. how they forget so quickly about the reason led them to get married. It is easy for them to marry with the option of divorce, or to continue living together even though there is no respect, because they do not see the sacred nature of this covenant. It is ironic because I had a personal experience about marriage followed by a divorce, but still I believe faithfully in the sacredness of eternal marriage. I believe that the Lord wants us to be happy with our spouse, with love and respect and give everything in our power to get an eternal marriage. Giving all our soul to care for and support the person we chose freely whom we made an eternal promise.